Recent Reflections

Just thought I'd share some recent things I've been reflecting on, and which I feel God has been speaking to my heart to teach me how to love more fully.

Colossians 3:12-17
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against one another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

"Peace requires much understanding and good will. For even when we like another person there is always something that one or another finds displeasing. That is when godly patience, the font of all blessedness, is necessary!’ ~ Bl. John XXIII

"We all have our failings, if not in one area than in another. We should be accommodating to all. To all – for in God’s sight they may be more deserving than we." ~ Bl. John XXIII

And the Pendulum Keeps on Swinging...

I’m sorry that I have not blogged in a great long while. This summer has been an action-packed thriller, and it’s about to get busier.  Right now I’m back at Notre Dame and am about half way through a course titled: “Eucharist as Mystical Body.” So far, it has been pretty good.

My professor told us that one of his undergraduate students once said to him that “I think I’ve met Christians who would stab you to death with a crucifix and then would get down on their knees and thank God for the privilege of doing so.”

The statement struck me. Something that I’ve been reflecting on and thinking about lately is how each and every single human person is a little off balance. We all “miss the mark” from time to time. Actually, in my mind, I think it’s more often than not.

Lately I’ve had several opportunities to re-connect with old friends and talk to people who knew  me back in the days before I came to Notre Dame. While it has been a wonderful experience, it has also shown me how very different I have become. Theological education changes a person, and it should. It is about personal and intellectual conversion. I think my graduate theological education has brought about both in my life.

This makes it difficult in some ways to interact with individuals who knew me before. I struggle with whether I ought to just simply relate to individuals as I always have – to connect with them as I have in the past, or whether I ought to tell them I’ve changed.

On some occasions, I’ve done both. But when I just act in the same manner, I feel that I am not being true to myself, that I am not being honest that the person I have become is not the same as I was – just as the person that I will become tomorrow be the same person that I am today.  But then when I try to share the person I have become, I find people startled, even sometimes dismayed that I have changed my views on a number of issues.

What I’ve come to realize through much of my theological education is that my views on certain things were at times a bit off balance. Being exposed to new ways of doing theology and having to struggle with new ways of thinking about theological questions has I think in turn made me more balanced.

What is interesting, however, is that sometimes those who knew me before now think that I’m the one who is off-balance now. And the experience of being-in-relationship with those who fall more in the category of the way I used to think – and having them question my position – is an interesting one.  Sometimes I try to share with them what I’ve learned, and try to help them see that while I understand where they are coming from (because after all, I once shared a similar view), that it’s possible to see things from a different perspective.  Other times, I just marvel at how very different I’ve become – and wonder if the shock they must feel in realizing that is similar to my own surprise at myself.  At times, others take a judgmental stance- and try to caution me against buying into what some regard as ‘bad theology’ – and while I might feel an unease about the fact that I might identify more readily with this new theology than I used to – I also cannot shake the fact that at the same time I also feel that this new perspective opens up much wider, much freer, much more loving horizons.

I find myself in a position of experimenting, of trying new things and watching and waiting to see what the long term fruit will be. And even while I feel radically outside my comfort zone, being in new theological territory, I find myself consoled by the fact that God is with me in the process and I trust that He will not allow me to go too far astray. Perhaps I formerly was too far to one side; now, I find myself swinging to the polar-opposite extreme. In a sense, this is how we all are, always a little off being centered on Christ. The saints are the ones who, in mastering the life of virtue, are able to keep a life of balance amidst a world of competing extremes. All this being said, I'm not there yet, but I trust that in the end, with God's grace, I'll balance out and end up right where God wants me to be. 

Holy Land Blog

So instead of posting about my Holy Land trip here, I've created a separate blog. Please check out rachelholyland2010.blogspot.com for more entries!

Jerusalem

I'm sorry I have not posted yet, but things have been very busy here. I hope to write more and post some pictures soon!.

I just wanted to say that EVERYONE needs to take a trip to the Holy Land. It is AMAZING here. So far my favorite place has been Bethlehem, more specifically, the Church of the Nativity.

God has been teaching me so much and speaking to my heart like crazy. I wish I could post it all here. You would be amazed at what He's saying. Here's a sampling:

* There is coming a day when you will neither worship here nor in Jerusalem but in Spirit and in truth." see Jn 4 -
* The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath. God is working on me to free me from scrupulosity and to live in the glorious freedom of the children of God.
* "I want to be with you forever."
* I've learned to see the Eucharist in a whole new light. Sitting around eating falafel, hummus, etc. (amazing food here) with my friends, I was remembering the times I sat with my boyfriend and his family eating the same foods, and at that moment realized that I missed him terribly and wished he could be here with me! Sharing this meal made me long to be with him. The thought occurred to me - (perhaps it's an imperfect image, but it resonated with me deeply!) When we go to the Eucharist, we are united with Jesus - but it occured to me that this meal is a foretaste that also ought to make us long for something more- for heaven, where we will finally be reunitd with Jesus forever. Should not the sharing of the Eucharistic banquet make our hearts burn within us as it did for the disciples on the road to Emmaus?
* "For your sake he became poor so that you might become rich." see 2 Corinthians --> Seeing Bethlehem really makes this verse come alive.

more to come-  plus pictures! (i'm no sure when I'll get around to it, but i'm working on it! things are really busy here).

Please know that I am praying for you!