PROCRASTINATION UPDATE

[ x ] Extension for Initiation Ministry Paper - check!
[ x ] Extension for Christian Initiation Paper - check!

Good news: I suddenly have 20 pages less to write for Monday.
Bad News: I suddenly now have homework over Easter break.

Procrastination...

This Weekend:

Friday:
12 Noon - Iceskating with Margaret
1pm - 1am - LIBRARY.

Paper #1:
15 page paper for my Religion & Literature in the Light of Job class; writing on the topic of Job, Dante, & Primo Levi on what they have to say about speaking in times of crisis and how one ought to speak to someone suffering great loss.

Paper #2:
6-8 page paper on the RCIA process and what kind of parish the process is most successful in.

Paper #3:
2 Page Reflection Paper on Primo Levi's "If This Is A Man"

Paper #4:
Outline & Pre-bibliography for Ecclesiology paper on role of Papacy in united Catholic / Orthodox Church.

Saturday:

DATE DAY! =)

SUNDAY:

Pysanky making. Oh yeah! PLUS HOMEWORK.

Please pray I can get everything done on time!

(All these papers are due monday). Yes, I am procrastinating

Prayer, Random Thoughts, and Theology of the Body

There's nothing like a new relationship to motivate you to pray.

I can honestly say that I haven't prayed this much or this intently for a long time. It's not that I don't normally have a prayer life, but for some reason, I find my prayer has become much clearer, much more focused, much more intense since I've started dating.

Perhaps it's because I'm so much out of my comfort zone, I'm finding myself clinging to God, asking Him to calm my nerves and help me just be me. Or maybe it's because I'm scared and I need to learn trust. Mostly, it's because I'm just incredibly thankful right now; I feel like the tenth leper who just got cured and I can't help but run back to Jesus and tell him "THANKS!!!". On the other hand, maybe it's because I really like this person and I really want it to work out between us. Or - maybe I know that this whole thing is in God's hands and unless I surrender my desires, my hopes, my dreams to Him, I'm going to be grasping, and miss the opportunity to receive him as a gift from God.

The last point is something that struck me while I was reading TOB Explained by Christopher West. "The [person] who lives "the gift" recognizes [the other] as a gift to be received both from the hands of the Creator and through the freedom of [the other's] own self-determination as a personal subject. But the [person] who denies the gift does not wait to receive [the other] as a gift. Instead, [one] extorts [the other's] gift; [one] grasps at [the other] instead of receiving [the other]" (TOB Explained, p. 219).

Another point that stuck out to me was that this person does not belong to me. Although in another sense, one can say of one's beloved that there is a sense of belonging; however, "a man and woman can only speak of belonging to each other only by way of analogy." (TOB Explained, p. 205). Ultimately, each of us belongs only to God.

I think what all this means is that the only way we can understand the saying "one belongs to another (the lover to his or her beloved, and vice versa)," that is, to a person other than God, means to say that one has received their beloved as gift from God, and similarly have themselves been given to the other by God. I think one can ultimately say that this is true (most really and profoundly true) only when the two are married to each other. Thus, even as my affection grows, I have to remind myself that the reality in which I currently live is not one of belonging but of hope; of hoping, and patient waiting to see if it is God's will that one day I will receive him as a gift from God.

There is a certain humility required here; a certain acknowledgment that I do not know the plans God has for me, or for him. I do not know what God has in store. I cannot anticipate it, but must patiently wait for the plan to be revealed in the fullness of time. What I've noticed is that this view can sound in many ways similar to a pessimistic realism. But it is quite different in quality, the essential difference between the two views being the theological virtue of hope. Hope is looking forward to the fulfillment of a promise - which is greater even than this present reality. It is the fulfillment of a promise that is beyond our vision (to use a line from Romero's work which I referenced in an earlier post). In that sense, there is a true peace and joy in knowing that whatever happens, God is in control. And the God who holds me and my future in His hand is a God who wills both my good and my happiness.

What a liberating, consoling thought!

Love Bug

I have the love bug. Really, it's like you're sick. Mentally and physically sick!

I can't sleep.
I can't eat.

I got in bed at 3:15 and was still not asleep by 4:30am... finally gave in and took some medicine to help me sleep!

I can count on one hand all the things I ate yesterday: a banana, 2 cups of coffee, 2 pieces of pizza and a bottle of gatorade. Today hasn't been much better. My appetite is kaput.

I'm anxious. And giddy.
I blush for no reason.

I'm trying to study for an exam, but instead, I've updated my blog twice in a single day.

Oh well, here's a song to celebrate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZGKlUw-dSk

("First Time" by Lifehouse)

Attitude of Gratitude

This week - well, really for the last few weeks I've been overwhelmed by an "attitude of gratitude."

God heard my prayers (and the prayers of so many of my friends and family members, interceding on my behalf) in the midst of my searching and waiting. God brought a wonderful person into my life, who I believe is a gift of God for me at this time. Whether he is a friend for life or something more is yet to be seen, but we're both waiting patiently on God and staying open to the possibilities. Time alone will tell.

In many ways, I didn't see this coming. Yet, there were a lot of prayers and a few signs last Advent that made me think that something was around the corner. But I didn't want to get my hopes up. I felt God nudging me, calling me to TRUST. I struggled with the thought: Lord, do I really believe? Do I really trust? Do I really believe that you are faithful in your promises?

Of course, I knew God is faithful. God is always faithful, even despite my own unfaithfulness. I believed God would come through; but I worried that my own lack of faith might be a hindrance to what God wanted to work in my life.

I've had my doubts along the way; I've freaked out, and been tempted to turn back. But every time I am with him, his constant and calming presence reassure me. His gentleness and kindness win me over every time. God knows that this is just the kind of person it would take to break me out of my hiding.

I thank God every day for His faithfulness, and for the love God is showering on me through my new relationship. It is wonderfully new and fresh and exciting - a very different way of experiencing the love of God than anything else I have experienced up to this point.

Please keep us in your prayers: God's will be done!

This was a black spiritual that I learned from the women of St. Margaret's House this past summer and which has become my song and prayer lately:

THANK YOU LORD
THANK YOU LORD
THANK YOU LORD
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU LORD

YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD
YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD
YOU"VE BEEN SO GOOD
AND I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU LORD

I PRAISE YOUR NAME...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlfwA1E-7js

Real Citizenship: More Than Just Your Vote

I just got an email from a Senator of mine that I had emailed a few weeks ago. I was surprised, because usually you get a quicker turn-around. So much time had passed that I had forgotten I had even sent him an email, and so I wasn't expecting his reply! Anyway, it was a good reminder to me that I haven't responded to any "Action Alerts" lately. So I decided to go looking for some!

Since the Obama Drama unfolded here at Notre Dame in May 2009, and the November 2008 Election, it has become increasingly clear to me that it's not enough to show up to vote. Our Catholic Social tradition has a much richer notion of active citizenship. There's so much we can do to really support causes which our Tradition says are of primary importance beyond electing candidates that share our views -- and our action becomes particularly important precisely when the ones who get elected, DON'T.

Even more surprisingly, there are simple things we can do to remain politically engaged - beyond the vote. Take emailing your reps, for example. Lots of good Catholic orgs have "action alerts" you can respond to: you enter your information, they email your reps. And voila! You've let your voice be heard and have encouraged them to support Catholic values on a variety of issues in just a few minutes!

That being said, here are some good action alerts I encourage everyone to respond to.

http://www.capwiz.com/justiceforimmigrants/issues/alert/?alertid=14503781&type=CO
JUSTICE FOR IMMIGRANTS - USCCB COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION REFORM

http://www.usccb.org/sdwp/national/2010-01-27-Alert-healthcare.pdf
HEALTH CARE REFORM - USCCB

http://actioncenter.crs.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ac_homepage
CATHOLIC RELIEF SERVICES (CRS) -- ACTION ALERTS

http://crs.org/act/
CATHOLIC RELIEF SERVICES - ACTION IDEAS

And if you need a little Catholic Inspiration:

As Pier Giorgio Frassati used to say:
"Charity is not enough; we need social reform."

And as Pope John Paul II aptly reminded us in Christifideles Laci:
"A new state of affairs today both in the Church and in social, economic, political and cultural life, calls with a particular urgency for the action of the lay faithful. If lack of commitment is always unacceptable, the present time renders it even more so. It is not permissible for anyone to remain idle."

Spring Break

This week is Spring Break for us here at Notre Dame, and as a member of the head staff, I've stayed behind to cover duty for break and also to get in some good library time (aka catch up on homework I should have been doing all semester long).

It's a beautiful time to be on campus for a number of reasons: it's super quiet, which means you can slow down and hear yourself think think again; I can spend some time in prayer because my life isn't going at the pace of insanity; I can really invest myself in my work and put together quality papers that are well thought out instead of hastily thrown together at 2am. Not to mention that campus is gorgeous right now, particularly in the early and late afternoon. First, the sun shines so bright during the day; the sky is a magnificent bright blue. Though the campus is "dead" (quiet), the warmth and light of the sun seems to make everything radiate with new life. The days are growing longer now, and it's beautiful to see the soft pinks and oranges of the setting sun reflecting off the dome and bathing campus in a colorful hue well into the early evening.

All of this makes me think about the fact that we're just about at the midway point for Lent. Though there are signs all around me of new life bursting forth (the crocuses and daffodils and hyacinth are poking up out of the ground already!), I'm wondering whether the same is true in my soul. How has my life become bathed in the light of Christ this Lent? Where are the little buds poking up through the hardened soil of my heart? How can I feel the warmth and see the colorful light of new love shining through?

In some ways, I feel like this Lent hasn't been as productive as I wanted it to be. I'm wondering if I should be doing more in the few weeks ahead. I made some Lenten commitments, which I have been following, at least, somewhat even if not perfectly. I feel I have been spending more time in prayer, though not always in the ways I feel I should be. At the same time, perhaps my heart, my soul, my spirit have begun to show signs of growth, of new life. There is still time.

Lord, help me to make the most of these last few weeks of Lent. Help me to let the light of Your love shine ever more brightly in my life. Help me to love more totally, more purely, and more disinterestedly.

Laity Not Collaborators, says Pope Benedict XVI

I got this in my inbox the other day and had to post it here. This is EXCITING STUFF!

Laity Are Not Priests' Collaborators, Says Pope
Clarifies That All Are Co-responsible for the Church

ROME, MARCH 7, 2010 (Zenit.org).- Benedict XVI today told parishioners of a Roman parish that there is a need to change mentalities, so as to see laypeople as co-responsible for the Church, not merely as collaborators of the clergy.

The Pope made this reflection today when he celebrated Sunday Mass at one of the parishes in the north of the Diocese of Rome, San Giovanni della Croce in Colle Salario.

The Bishop of Rome made various concrete exhortations at the parish. [and then]... The Pontiff expressed his satisfaction that the community "wishes to promote, in regard to the vocations and the role of consecrated persons and the laity, the co-responsibility of all the members of the People of God."

To do this, he said, "demands a change in mentality, above all with regard to the laity, 'moving from considering them ‘collaborators’ of the clergy to recognizing them as truly ‘co-responsible’ for the being and action of the Church, promoting a mature and dedicated laity in this way.'"
Finally, the Holy Father exhorted the Christian families and youth of the parish to "let yourselves be more and more drawn by the desire to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

"Do not wait until others bring you other messages that do not lead to life, but make yourselves missionaries of Christ for the brothers and sisters where you live, work, study or only pass your free time," he encouraged. "You should also establish here a strong and organic vocational program that educates families and young people in prayer and the living of life as a gift that comes from God."

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Prophets of a Future Not Our Own

So this week in field education, we had a time of faith sharing, and my classmates who led it had us reflect a beautiful passage from the writings of Archbishop Oscar Romero. The words were so beautiful, I thought I'd post them here:

PROPHETS OF A FUTURE NOT OUR OWN

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the
magnificent enterprise that is God's work.

Nothing we do is complete,
which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.

No confession brings perfection, no pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about.

We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.

We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything,
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.

This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.

It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning,
a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see th ened results, but that is the difference
between the master builder and the worker.

We are workers, not master builders.
ministers, not messiahs.

We are prophets of a future not our own.