Free Hugs

This video made me smile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN8CKwdosjE

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Recently, I've found myself drawn to reflect on the life and witness of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Her 100th birthday is in a few days, on Aug. 26, 2010.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been thinking about people who travel abroad to do long term service. The first year MDiv that I am paired up with as a 'mentor' just returned from a year of service with the Salesians of St. John Bosco in South Africa. Listening to her stories from her time there, I think she is doing more to mentor me than I am her! She inspires me.

I also recently talked to a student who lived in Cavanaugh last year who just returned from an ISSLP (International Summer Student Learning Program) working with the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta at MT's home for the dying. She said it was an amazing experience and wants to go back!

What struck me - is how much this young woman seems to have changed as a result of her experience. When she left she came across (to me, at least) as a carefree sophomore with far too much bubbly-ness and energy. Talking with her this past week, she still radiated the joy she always did, but I felt that there was a new depth and maturity behind it. She spoke of visiting Mother's tomb daily, and how each day they put a quote of Mother Teresa's there - written out entirely using flowers. She spoke of how some days she would go in to the tomb at times when she was struggling - and that very often the quote would just "hit the nail on the head' for whatever she was struggling with that day. Even from the grave, Mother Teresa spoke to her heart!

Her enthusiasm and zeal was contagious. I walked away from my conversation with this student thinking about whether I would ever consider doing international service - and whether that might be something God wants of me. Wanting some guidance, I remembered that I have this little novena book which has quotes and reflections by Bl. Teresa of Calcutta and decided that I should take a look at it once again.

That evening, I went down to the chapel in our dorm and pulled out the novena book - the words of Mother Teresa, her "thought for day" on the first day of the novena really spoke to me as well:

"Do not search for Jesus in far lands; He is not there. He is close to you; He is in you."

It struck me that I need not go to India or Africa or South America or the Middle East to find Jesus. He is, as St. Augustine would say, "more intimate to me than I am to myself."

The homily for this Sunday (given by a young priest of the Congregation of the Holy Cross) spoke of how God gives us TODAY as a gift, and that God can only be found in the present. We only need to be attentive and we will see Him, experience Him right where we are.

It struck me that my challenge for this year is to live in the moment, to be as present as I can to the present moment, to serve those who are right in front of me, and not to desire to be or to serve somewhere else.

Arabic I Here I Come!

So after about 20 emails, everything is in place. I am officially auditing Arabic I!

One of the residents I work closely with (she's our multicultural commissioner in the dorm!) told me about these two great websites: antimoon.com and alljapaneseallthetime.com. Both of these websites give strategies for language learners to increasing their language learning success.

I've been reading their pages and getting myself very excited about this. I forgot how much I love language learning!

One of the strategies which one of these websites gives is increasing your INPUT (exposure to the language) on a daily basis. They recommend reading a book in the target language for an hour a day, watching TV programs, listening to music in the target language.

This year I haveCable TV in my apartment in the dorm, and had a TV donated to me for use. Though I had cable last year, I didn't have a TV, and I insisted on not going out and buying one - since honestly, having a TV is simply another distraction that frankly I don't need! But - flipping through the channels I've realized that ND's Cable package features a number of foreign-language channels - including one in French, German, and Italian. It's been super fun to watch Italian game shows and catch the tail end of German news programs. Although I don't understand a whole lot all the time, I've found myself being able to understand more and more of it as I watch it more and more frequently. Doing this has given me a renewed interest in learning languages. I think they might even have some Arabic programming, although I'll have to double check.

Someday I hope that I will be able to be fluent in one or more foreign languages, and that I'll be comfortable in communicating with others in a foreign language as I am in my mother tongue.

Wish me luck!

Random thoughts

I thought I'd post something just so that the last post on my blog is not me ranting anymore. I thought I'd post about the things I've been thinking about lately - in all their randomness, depth, and perhaps even beauty.

I've been thinking about undergrad a lot lately. Today I drove one of our Freshmen Orientation leaders to Panera and she saw my FUS alum sticker on my back windshield and told me she went to a bunch of Steubenville conferences when she was in high school.

I have been thinking about chocolate a lot lately. Remind me to pick some up next time I go to the store!


I went on a retreat to Lake Wawasee in Indiana with the Lay MDiv students - as we always do at the start of each year - this week. While I was there, I kept thinking about being in Galilee by the Sea of Galilee (which is actually a lake!) and about all the things I felt God had spoken to my heart there.

I've been thinking about my future children lately. This is sort of a random thing, but sometimes I talk to them / pray for their intercession. If God is timeless, and if they exist even now (although only in the mind of God), then I think in some sense it is possible to do that. Even if it's not possible, I still think God is listening, so in the end, I guess it works. It's a really interesting exercise - makes you really think about what you want to be for them, what you want for them, what you want them to become...and about the present, about what you can be doing now to prepare for that. I find that doing this easily turns my heart to praying some of the most honest prayers I have ever prayed in my life.

I've been thinking about my humanity a lot lately, and about humanity in general. Realizing our frailty and our weakness - not in a depressing way, but in a humbling way. We are like the grass that is here today and gone tomorrow. We are fickle, constantly changing, constantly moving between extremes and inconstant in almost everything. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I have been thinking about my friends who struggle with being single - and finding my heart breaking for them and not knowing how to reach out to and support them.

I have been thinking about people who give up the comfort of living in the United States (or any "first world" country) and who go and live among the "poorest of the poor." Hearing their stories and thinking about the sacrifices they make on a daily basis makes me want to take a year off after graduation and do the same.

RANT

The carefree days of summer are OVER.
I hate my life... for the next two weeks. Make the insanity stop!!!

I resent being busy from the moment I wake up until the moment my bed hits the pillow at 1am. I resent having to ignore phone calls just because I honestly do not have the time to answer them. I resent having to be the bad news bear and tell everyone NO. I hate not having a spare minute to call the people I care about most. I hate having to juggle responsibilities coming at me from numerous different communities all at once (hall staff, my field placement site, the MDiv program, my family....). The only place I want to be right now is in the arms of the one I love, and it makes me so mad that I won't be able to be there anytime in the next two weeks. I hate the fact that when I get stressed out like this I turn into the biggest jerk ever and have the shortest fuse imaginable. I'm trying to be charitable, but I feel like I want to bite someone's head off.

It's times like these I realize the need for self-care. All that I need is some quiet time, some time for me. But the bad thing is, I won't get that for another week or so. And that also makes me really mad!

I did not anticipate that this week would be so terribly insane.

Prayer for the week: Please God, give me patience and fortitude, and QUICK!

Inshallah...

Please say a quick prayer that this professor at Notre Dame will let me sit in on her Arabic I class this fall. Inshallah, (God willing), she'll allow me to, even though I'm not an undergrad and the school does not normally let grad students take undergraduate courses. All I really want to do is sit in the back of the class and absorb what I can. Basically, I just want to audit the course...

Good news: the class schedule online says that there are several seats open in the class -
Bad news: the class is at 8:00am in the morning... 8 am class = lots of Qahwa.

A Year of Transitions

So this week I'm in the process of moving from Siegfried (normally a men's hall, but during the summer, it doubles as grad-student housing) back into Cavanaugh for the upcoming school year. I'm in a new apartment on the 4th floor - and wicked excited about that because this apartment has a kitchen! I am so excited to be able to cook, to have people over, etc.  This means that I'll be purchasing cooking equipment (the basics)- which ultimately remind me that in just over a year I'll have to cook for myself every day. It's a little reminder of the life that awaits me after graduation.

I feel like this year will be quite a year of transitions for me. First of all, we have a brand new rector - I'm the only staff person who is returning (each year we have a whole new RA staff, and usually, one new AR (ARs usually stay for 2 years; I'm the returner this year, so we have a new AR - replacing my co-worker who graduated).Also, I'll be working in the dorm AND student teaching. I'll also be finishing up my final year of the MDiv and then graduating, then venturing out into the "Real World" again. I'll also be discerning and making big decisions about relationships.


Needless to say, what my life looks like now is probably not what it's going to look like 12 months from now. I'm definitely "in-between" - "twixt-and-twain" ; I'm no longer a carefree student with the security of many more years of studenthood ahead of me, but I'm not yet out in the world with a life all my own.

It's an interesting place to be - but one that I'm eager to leave behind. Part of me wants to stay where I am, to "build a tent" and just remain; the other half is pulling me forward, wanting to get on with the life ahead of me.

The trick and challenge of the next year will be learning to be patient with the state I find myself in today, being present to the reality and people of today, being content with God's grace and presence in my life today instead of His promises for the future.


Wish me luck! (Go Irish!)