Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Recently, I've found myself drawn to reflect on the life and witness of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Her 100th birthday is in a few days, on Aug. 26, 2010.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been thinking about people who travel abroad to do long term service. The first year MDiv that I am paired up with as a 'mentor' just returned from a year of service with the Salesians of St. John Bosco in South Africa. Listening to her stories from her time there, I think she is doing more to mentor me than I am her! She inspires me.

I also recently talked to a student who lived in Cavanaugh last year who just returned from an ISSLP (International Summer Student Learning Program) working with the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta at MT's home for the dying. She said it was an amazing experience and wants to go back!

What struck me - is how much this young woman seems to have changed as a result of her experience. When she left she came across (to me, at least) as a carefree sophomore with far too much bubbly-ness and energy. Talking with her this past week, she still radiated the joy she always did, but I felt that there was a new depth and maturity behind it. She spoke of visiting Mother's tomb daily, and how each day they put a quote of Mother Teresa's there - written out entirely using flowers. She spoke of how some days she would go in to the tomb at times when she was struggling - and that very often the quote would just "hit the nail on the head' for whatever she was struggling with that day. Even from the grave, Mother Teresa spoke to her heart!

Her enthusiasm and zeal was contagious. I walked away from my conversation with this student thinking about whether I would ever consider doing international service - and whether that might be something God wants of me. Wanting some guidance, I remembered that I have this little novena book which has quotes and reflections by Bl. Teresa of Calcutta and decided that I should take a look at it once again.

That evening, I went down to the chapel in our dorm and pulled out the novena book - the words of Mother Teresa, her "thought for day" on the first day of the novena really spoke to me as well:

"Do not search for Jesus in far lands; He is not there. He is close to you; He is in you."

It struck me that I need not go to India or Africa or South America or the Middle East to find Jesus. He is, as St. Augustine would say, "more intimate to me than I am to myself."

The homily for this Sunday (given by a young priest of the Congregation of the Holy Cross) spoke of how God gives us TODAY as a gift, and that God can only be found in the present. We only need to be attentive and we will see Him, experience Him right where we are.

It struck me that my challenge for this year is to live in the moment, to be as present as I can to the present moment, to serve those who are right in front of me, and not to desire to be or to serve somewhere else.

On Human Nature

As I’ve mentioned before, a hobby (perhaps I should say “part time job”) of mine is reading self-help / relationship books. I love reading these things because usually they have a good deal of helpful information, but also because they challenge me to grow and to change how I approach things in life.

For example, one relationship book I read made me realize that I had been hiding behind my homework for so long – and that if I was serious about relationships I needed to start making time for them. Shortly thereafter, I began dating!

Another big learning moment for me came while reading another relationship book which talked about how in healthy relationships the ratio of positive to negative interactions is 5:1; anything less than that, then the relationship is in a danger zone. Furthermore, I’ve done a lot of reading about emotional intelligence and assertiveness and realized that I often vacillate between “grinning and bearing it” – not saying anything about things that drive me nuts (being passive) and aggressive states, where I lash out and confront a person in a biting or unhelpful manner which usually distances me and causes me to feel terrible in retrospect. I realize that this pattern is one that I learned in my family, and I’m trying to be intentional about being assertive without being an a$$, that is, being honest and upfront about things that bother me in a way that respects and is open to the other person’s perspective as well.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I wrote: “As I strive to evaluate the character of this other person, I cannot help but see myself under the same magnifying glass, and it is quite a humbling process!”

Being in relationship has helped me to see myself – my true character – more clearly. As I start to see my own weaknesses and the weaknesses of this other person, I need to remember these quotes which hang on my wall in my bedroom in Connecticut:

“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. Do not be disturbed because of your imperfections, and always rise up bravely from a fall. Daily make a new beginning; there is no better means of progress in the spiritual life than to be continually beginning afresh, and never to think that we have done enough.” ~ St. Francis de Sales

“Don’t give into discouragement. If you are discouraged, it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people’s opinions. Be humble and you will never be disturbed. It is very difficult in practice because we all want to see the result of our work. Leave it to Jesus.” Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

It’s easy to judge ourselves or judge others harshly… but do we realize how merciful our God is? Our God – who took on human flesh is not unaware of our human weakness. Yet, do we realize how infinitely ready He is to pick us up, dust us off, and make us new? Our God – who has washed us clean in the waters of Baptism, who has imbued us with His Divine Spirit, the very power of God, and who has nourished us with the Flesh and Blood of His Son and continues to feed us still – if He has done all of this, how will He not heal us and take us to even greater depths of purification, perfection, holiness?

If our God is so merciful to us, we ought to, then, be extraordinarily merciful to one another. And even -- to ourselves.

To close, here's a beautiful quote which I got from the E-Devotion Franciscan University puts out. Though it applies to spouses, I think the advice goes for friendships and relationships as well!
“If we wish to be more Christlike in our marriages, we must first and foremost develop a deeper attitude of love and acceptance for our spouse as he or she is, with all the imperfections. Instead of trying to change our beloved or becoming irritated with these faults, we must remain firmly committed to our husband or wife as persons who have been entrusted to us as a gift. Our fundamental attitude toward the beloved in the midst of weaknesses must not be one of agitation, defensiveness or annoyance, but one of unwavering acceptance in our hearts for the other, bearing patiently with all the faults. When we do this, we begin to love as God loves.”

Edward Sri
Men, Women and the Mystery of Love, St. Anthony Messenger Press