I really dislike my preaching class. Here's why:
* I have to wake up at 8:30 on Friday in order to get there. (Blah! Who likes to get up at 8:30am when they go to bed at 1:30, 2am every night?)
* I am a lay person, so I don't see myself as doing much preaching (lay persons are not permitted to preach within Mass). That being said, there is the implicit expectation that I will preach at a dorm Mass as part of my training and I'm not sure how I feel about that...
* There are an exorbitant amount of readings... Shouldn't this be worth more than a measly two credits?
* This class effectively breaks down my ego, while my other classes build it up. It's easy to get an A on a paper you've spent lots of time working on; it's very difficult to deliver a good homily.
* We have to give our homilies in front of the entire class. So if you do poorly, everyone knows it. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't express myself well in words. The thought is beautiful in my mind and when I work at writing it down, but when spoken more often than not comes out in a garbeled spew of words that need some deciphering. Public speaking (hence: preaching) is not one of my gifts!
* Inflexible deadlines! One of the things I've discovered in graduate school is the concept of flexible deadlines / extensions. While I would have never dreamed of asking for one in undergrad, I've taken advantage of this on more than one occasion in Grad School. If a paper is lousy, I know I can just ask for an extension and work on it some more to make it better. There are no extensions for homilies... You can't say to your congregation, "Uh, I'll get you a sermon on Monday.." It has to be done on Sunday or else.
* Writing homilies is hard work! It involves praying with a scripture for several days in advance, waiting on God, listening for Him to speak through it a word that will reach not only my heart but also those to whom I will be preaching. Sometimes 'inspiration' comes, sometimes it doesn't. The fact that it's a team process (God-me) means it's not entirely in my hands. That's the frustrating thing! Especially when it's Thursday night and you're still waiting!
* My professor is Lutheran, and has a distinctly Lutheran bias, sometimes which I appreciate, and other times, which I don't. I like his emphasis on preaching being about what GOD has done and what GOD is doing in our lives - and about GRACE, and FREEDOM, and all that good news stuff - but sometimes he gets a little bit touchy when us Catholics start talking about COOPERATION with God's grace and the human response being an important part of the picture. Granted, we have to hold the two in tension... but it can be difficult when our theological emphases are of a slightly different color.
* Taking this class has made me hyper-attentive to all the homilies I hear at Mass now. This would seem to be a good thing; but it's not! I can't just listen to a homily now without critiquing it to death! This rather than being a help, has been a distraction. Not to mention, it has made me aware of how dismal many homilies are these days! The real gems are few and far between.
*Preaching is not about sharing all the cool theological insights you've gleaned from your coursework and wowing people with your eloquence. (darn!). It's about being an instrument through which God speaks to His people. I'm going to have to work on this one. Perhaps I should adopt one of the following as my motto: "I am not the answer, it's not my praise I sing, I am just the herald of the great King!" "He must increase, I must decrease." "Apart from me you can do nothing."
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